The shadow begins in ordinary moments
A toddler reaches for something and hears a stern, “Don’t touch that.”
A child cries and is told, “Don’t be silly.”
A little boy expresses fear and hears, “Be brave.”
A little girl expresses anger and hears, “Don’t be difficult.”
A teenager shows enthusiasm and gets mocked by peers.
A young employee speaks up in a meeting and is shut down.
Each one results in a message being internalised.
It could be: “I am wrong for having this feeling.”
Or: “I must hide this part of me, but keep the connection.”
Either way, something goes into the shadow bag. And every time the need for connection wins, authenticity loses. Not permanently, but functionally. The feelings don’t disappear. They simply go underground, where they wait for the right conditions to resurface.
The workplace provides those conditions daily.